Halfway

Sometimes I wonder if this blog will end because…well…can I really keep speaking to my life in context to how my cat is in it? I picture a day I look at her and think “we had a good run ol pal.” But is really is funny how she continues to inspire, comfort, cause reflection-or just make me laugh. When I saw half her body hanging out of this box (cover photo) I first laughed…trying to picture where she decided “this is good.” Then I thought deeper-because it mirrors my life a lot lately: being half into or out of something. It’s hard to fully commit to anything. I’ll go through how it could go wrong, what it means if it goes right-and I’ll sit there trying to decide if I’m in distress or just making choices. It sounds great when I declare what I want-but getting it means I have to let go of what was keeping it from me and that’s not easy. Even the worst coping tools can become endearing and safe-so the new healthy thing can feel real dumb and even wrong. So I’ll just put part of myself into it until I can do more or need to step back. But I hadn’t put many words to how I’ve been feeling until I saw my jerk cat half in that box-so for now, the life lessons I’m positive she has no idea she’s imparting upon me continue.

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