Missed the mark

In this photo Johnny meant to stay on the stool-but man did she mess that up. Do you ever have days (or weeks, months etc) where you just keep missing every damn mark? I define a mark as a target of sorts, something you were meaning to do or say….but then you…uhhh…don’t do or say anything you meant to. I’ve had a pretty sweet (shitty) run lately, where everything I do is in a field that I’m not even sure is left or right-or if a direction can be applied to it-it’s just in a field somewhere. At times like these I make post-it notes on my mirror, nightstand, door and car that say things like “pause before you say anything”, “don’t say anything”, “the feeling that everything is ruined passes”, “find something funny to watch”-and of course, “just hold Johnny.” As I type now Johnny has as much of her body as she can get around the laptop on me. I think she knows when I left the house this morning I missed another mark. All I needed was toilet paper-I really didn’t mean to loudly sigh as a woman took foreeevvvveeerrrr to move past the brand I wanted, but I did, and I felt bad, grabbed a brand I don’t like (because it costs more than $1) and left. I know that I tend to learn more from times I do everything off base or out of character-so I tell myself it’s growing pains…but then also that I can kind of be a jerk.

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